You said what?|
[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 18 most recent journal entries recorded in
What did you just say?'s LiveJournal:
|Sunday, February 25th, 2007|
Crayon Supply Master (CSM)
While some privates were at the CQ they realize they're out of pens and pencils, and other writing utensils. Marty turns to the NG (new guy) and says "well, go upstairs to the Crayon Supply Master's room and get some more". The NG a little skeptical, questions the increasingly frustrated Marty. "Seriously, just go upstairs and get teh damn pens will you?" snaps Marty.
The new guy goes up stairs and finds the room labeled C-S-M... "crayon supply master". He goes in and asks "hey, can I get some pens?"
Later that evening, he comes downstairs, sweating after being smoked by the Command Sergeant Major. He goes to teh CQ desk, and punches the laughing Marty in the face.
|Wednesday, March 8th, 2006|
Winning the war
One of my closest friends is a Coast Guard brat. This came from his dad, now a retired Captain.
In the late fifties, his dad had moored his cutter at one of the commercial piers in Norfolk. A German merchant vessel was moored on the other side of the pier.
His dad had a Chief who, for his own reasons, believed the Coast Guard should be able to do close-order drill.
One morning, the Chief had the entire ship's company on the pier, with Springfields, bayonets fixed, shambling (the Captain's description) down the pier at right-shoulder arms. Much cursing ensued regarding their dress and marching ability. My friend's dad was watching from the bridge.
At the end of the pier, the Chief ordered "rear march."
Half of the Coasties managed to turn against echelon. There are now Coasties and rifles all over the deck. The air has turned from blue to black, the Chief from red to imperial purple.
From the bridge of the German freighter came an anguished bellow: "Mein Gott, mein Gott! How could ve haf lost?"
|Wednesday, January 25th, 2006|
I know the comm is for stuff that's overheard, but I hope you don't mind me posting this.In Marine Corps basic training, I soon learned that everything we recruits used actually belonged to our drill instructor. For instance, she referred to the stuff in our footlockers as "my trash," and to the racks we slept in as "my racks." One time when we were all whispering in the bathroom while making "head calls," our drill instructor must have overheard us. To our surprise, she suddenly yelled, "Why do I hear voices in my head?!"
— Readers Digest: Humor in Uniform, contributed by Kathy Vandenbrink
|Wednesday, January 4th, 2006|
A little MI humor
Moments after the S2 jokingly announced that fun was not allowed in the SCIF, one of the resident jokers (not me this time) retorted: "No matter what an analyst tells you, there is no fun in the SCIF. Oh, there's Sensitive Compartmentalized Information in the SCIF, but you don't want Sensitive Compartmentalized Information; you want fun. And there is no fun in the SCIF. None." I thought that was worth a chuckle or two, but the IMINT Warrant almost swallowed her tongue laughing; Go figure.
|Tuesday, January 3rd, 2006|
I somehow didn't go to captains mast...
Me, 2 days before transferring, to the XO:
"You know Sir, after Friday, I'll never see you or the Captain again unless you're sprawled across my windshield."
What can I say, I was young, and hadn't slept in about 40 hours.
|Sunday, January 1st, 2006|
Written in online chat at work
a- Can I get some help here?
b- Only if you make out with me
a- I'm not going to make out with you, dude.
^ a is a marine sgt and b is a former army ssg. both are guys.
b- every-time D talks, God kills a kitten.
b is same as above.
|Saturday, December 31st, 2005|
From a DS
This happened a couple of weeks ago when we were doing LMW. Only about half of our company could "search" for the landmine at a time, so we got a lecture from a DS. Drill Sergeant Ferrari first asked if any of us were squimish about sex, ad of course no one was. Well he begins this whole lecture about finding landmines and relating it to sex. He continues for about 10 minutes when suddenly he stops.
"Good Morning Chaplain, how are you doing"
The Captain grins "Just fine Drill Sergeant, please continue."
"I just finished sir, and everyone don't forget to pray 3 times daily...."
All 80 of us were just ready to burst out. We have never seen a DS in that state before.
|Monday, December 26th, 2005|
"I'm not used to this. I've got a warm fuzzy feeling about this platoon."
"That warm fuzzy feeling is just the wool coming down over your eyes, Sergeant."
My response to my new plt sgt. on his comments about the squad leaders when he came to the plt.
|Saturday, December 17th, 2005|
Does it count if you're the one that said it?
A few days ago, one of the poor suckers... I mean, patriotic heroes who's replacing us was playing with a stuffed turkey they'd gotten in a care package. She was hamming it up, all "Isn't he cute? He's my precious baby, yes he is!" While cradling the faux infant, the fumbled and dropped it, and when she tried to catch it, she accidentally slammed it into her desk loud enough that a sudden hush fell in the ACE, and all eyes were drawn to our little corner. I couldn't resist piping in with "THAT'S what HAPPENS when you CRY while Mommy's DRINKING!" Heck, _I_ thought it was funny...
|Thursday, December 15th, 2005|
Not exactly IN uni...
But from a Marine... (Mike is my boyfriend, veteran of OEF and OIF, former 0352 (TOW gunner).)
Mike works as the security supervisor at the casino over in Pullman. Last night, some kid (18/19-ish) came in and happened to be wearing a USMC lanyard. Mike asked, "Are you a Marine?"
Mike: "Oh? What unit?"
After a couple questions, it became apparent that the kid was totally full of B.S. and wasn't a Marine at all. So Mike narrows his eyes, clenches his jaw, and says...
"Never. Pretend. To be. A Marine." *lifts his shirtsleeve, to reveal USMC/EGA tattoo* "We. Don't. Like. That."
Apparently the kid looked about like this: 0_0 - squares up, and rather quickly walked off. :) Current Mood: giggly
Just saw this comm on us_army
and couldn't resist joining.
I went to Fort Jackson (SC) for Army basic in '98. I had the awesomest drill sergeants -- and no, I'm not being sarcastic. Here's my favorite story from BCT: One male in my platoon was a Caucasian, 19(?), less than 5'0", with freckles and blue eyes. Our male DS was the company's EO (Equal opportunity) rep, so one meeting he had to count how many Caucasians, hispanics, etc. we had. At the end, he asked if he missed anyone.
"Me, drill sergeant."
Everyone turned to look at our short buddy.
"What're you?" asked our DS.
The male just grinned and said, "I'm a LEPRECHAUN!"
The room erupted with laughter. The DS grinned back, "Beat your face!"
Our buddy, still grinning, gave him 10.
|Tuesday, December 13th, 2005|
Overheard In A Field Hospital
Overheard in a field hospital in Iraq:
Orderly-"For the last time sir, that spider bite did not give you superpowers."
Captain-"Bullshit! I can feel my spider-sense tingling."
Orderly-"That's nerve damage sir."
Branch- Army. Hooah. Current Mood: amused
|Friday, December 9th, 2005|
but it's a funny psa
I work for a charity. From time to time folks who separate donate uniforms, etc, to us. Most of them take the advice to remove name, rank etc, before turning them over so people can go hunting in them.
We just got in several duffel bags full of unis and assorted items. All the namet tags and other markings had been removed from the unis but 3 of 4 duffel bags were clearly marked with this gent's name and SSN.
Please, please, please, paint over that with black paint before you release the duffel to anyone. Everyone is not as nice as me.
I'm going to cross post this. Hope you don't mind.
|Wednesday, December 7th, 2005|
For those who've had to deal with 3ID...
And have learned to dread the words "Marne Standard."
"Every time you roll out the gate without the Marne Standard (booklet), Rocky gets kicked in the nuts." Current Mood: amused
|Saturday, December 3rd, 2005|
You know you've been in the desert too long...
"I'm gonna do shot of Nyquil until my liver fails..." Current Mood: sleepy
|Thursday, November 24th, 2005|
Okay, it's stupid, but I'll take up your challenge...
The Chaplain decided to follow the battalion out on field exercise in Camp LeJeune, and it rained for the entire week. As they were humping back to the barracks, a jarhead calls out to the Chaplain, "Come on, Padre, can't you do anything about this rain?"
"Sorry, boys," the Chaplain shouted back, "But I'm in recruiting. You'll have to talk to the S-1 shop upstairs."
Just then Top came walking down the line giving words of ridicule and encouragement. A dripping-wet Corporal shouted, "Hey, Top's been in the Corps since Jesus was a private! Maybe he can pull some strings. What about it, Top!"
The Top just grinned, "Who do you think ordered the rain, Corporal?"
And then, I opened my mouth...
Walking from our building to the chowhall, navigating through barriers...not able to see who's on the other side.
Friend of mine-You're fucking cranky
Me-Yeah, well, I want a beer and an orgasm, and neither one of those is in my immediate future.
Yeah, then the three guys on the other side of the barrier crack up as they go walking by us.
Me-I have got to figure out to see through those fucking things before I open my mouth.
Overheard in Iraq....
Actually, said through email-
-Gotta love FOBbits. No, actually, you don't. You do need to stuff
them under a fucking HESCO until they resemble whiny little pancakes,
Pilot one-You know what would be good right now?
Pilot two-A beer. A beer would be good.
Pilot one-A game of chess.
Female on headset-Fuck beer. Fuck chess. I wanna get laid.
Every male on the comms-Here's my room number! Current Mood: amused